Ways I wish my toddler was like my dogs.

I vaguely remember the time before I had a kid. I remember thinking that having a kid was like having dogs, but a little more difficult. No problem. I could handle it. Someone even told me once that dogs are like 3-year-olds. This made sense at the time.

Now, I know better. I can only dream.

10. Crate training. Wouldn't that be cool? You want to go to a movie or your kid is having a tantrum, you put them in the crate. Admit it, you've thought it a time or two.

9. Clicker training. "Put your toys away. Click click." Oh yeah.

8. Walking the dogs actually gets me some exercise. Walking with the baby is slow and somewhat painful. Admittedly, she is a lot more cute, but no exercise happens when walking the block with her.

7. Dogs clean-up the food she throws on the floor.

6. ID tags and collar. If the dogs get out and run down the street, they have my phone number on them. If Isis gets out and runs down the street, I'm in big trouble.

5. Petsitters are lots cheaper.

4. The dogs' toys don't sing.

3. The dogs let themselves out the dog door to poo. Yeah, I have to clean it up once in a while, but it is so much easier to hit the yard with a pooper scooper than it is to try to wipe off a screaming, thrashing toddler.

2. I can ignore them. Once I took them to the groomer and my husband didn't even notice they were gone.

1. Grandma doesn't argue with me on how to raise my dogs. Frankly, Grandma doesn't care.