Success!!

Today was my first day back to work. When I had my daughter, I relished the idea of going back to work with the same desire I have for dinner when I have forgotten breakfast and lunch. I was starving for it.

This baby has been quite a bit better, though. I have been prettty nervous about going back.

We hired a nanny. I spent two days with her and succeeded in boring her, myself, and both kids. Honestly, how do you show you are a good nanny when you spend two days in someone else's house watching a new mom be afraid to give up her baby for even a minute?

So, today my husband had both kids. I was so nervous. I couldn't sleep. Ha! I have two kids. I can't sleep anyway. But, I was honestly nervous. What if the baby screams all day? What if he won't eat? What if the toddler is horrible? What if my husband is going insane with the kids? What if I have forgotten how to do my job? How will I pump?

But, it went strangely well. It turns out that my husband is a total champ at child care. Don't tell him I said this. He will deny it to the ends of the Earth in fear of being recruited for constant child care duties. But, he did great. The baby slept a lot. The toddler ate and got a nap. Jeff even got a few things done.

He brought the kids to visit me to ease my transition back into work life. How cool is that? The order of things only broke down at Costco. It is a little hard to chase the toddler while pushing the baby in the cart. I met him at Costco on my way home to help out.

In addition, it was a mellow day at work, so I was able to ease in and find my routine.

All in all, it was a rousing success. I can't believe it. I was so worried.

Tomorrow is the first day that both Jeff and I will be at work. The kids will be with the nanny all day. I'm biting my nails so much that my fingers will be shorter. If tomorrow goes well, I may pass out from exhaustion and sleep for a week.

How did I become this parent? I never thought this would be me. I loathed taking care of my daughter as a baby and now I am panicking at someone else taking care of her and my baby boy. I am so messed up.