Sleep. Ha!

Now that I'm back at work, let me tell you about a normal night for me. Last night was such a night and this is how it went:

Got the baby to sleep at around 9:30. I had some homework, so I looked at it in a daze for about half an hour, figured I didn't have a clue what I was looking at so got ready for bed. Jeff still had to take out the trash, so I waited in bed until he was done. By the time I got to sleep, it was about 11:00.

Baby wakes up for his feeding at about 3:00. So, at this point, I have had 4 hours of sleep.

I have this dream where the baby just goes back to sleep after his feeding. It's a nice dream. It comes from the fact that he used to do this. Not anymore. I still think he will go back to sleep so often that sometimes, later, when he really is sleeping in his little bed, I think that the cat is him and that I have fallen asleep with him in bed with me and I am smothering him with the blankets. I panic, then realize it is the cat there and go back to sleep.

So, after his feeding, I change his newly poopy diaper and pretend that he is going back to sleep by putting him in his little bed. When he starts to cry a few minutes later, I swear, get him out of bed, swear at him, and begin the process of trying to convert him from play mode to sleep mode.

I finally get him into bed to sleep at 4:30. I now have one hour before my alarm is going to go off. I go to sleep.

A few minutes later, the cat jumps on my head to wake me up and make me let her into the covers. I do. She paws me a little until I put her in a head lock and go back to sleep.

At 5:00, Jeff's alarm goes off at the sound level of a jet airplane. He is sleeping through it, so I poke him and say (in a panicky voice), "Oh my God, turn it off, turn it off, turn it off! I just got that baby back to sleep and if you wake him up with that unholy noise, I will kill you and bury you in the basement."

Jeff muddles around for a minute wondering where all the noise is coming from. When he figures out it is me, he turns off his alarm. His alarm that is set for one purpose only: to wake ME up. Jeff promptly rolls over and goes back to sleep. In fact, he is still asleep. Grr.

At 5:30, I am having a lovely dream about sleeping when my alarm goes off. I get up.

So, for those of you watching at home, that's 4 hours of sleep, 1 1/2 hours of baby time, 15 minutes of sleep, another 10 minutes of sleep, about 25 minutes of sleep. Making a total of just under 5 hours in little bits.

Gee, why am I so tired all the time?