Oh lord what a day!

Today was an unmitigated disaster from beginning to end.

This morning, ready for work, I got the baby out of bed. Things looked good. The baby wasn't crying. Then, I touched him. Stinky, nasty, drippy, icky. The baby was covered in poop from head to toe. I wrapped him in his blankie and headed for the tub. As I pulled out his little bathtub, Isis woke up. So, I had two kids needing diaper changes. Aaah.

I gave the baby a bottle and started to fill his tub. But, the cleanup was worse than I thought. Poop from head to toe. By the time I got him ready to get in the tub, the tub had overflowed into the kitchen. I flooded the kitchen. As I cleaned that up, Isis helpfully wiped lotion all over the baby. Agh.

The nanny arrived just as I got diapers and new clothes on both kids. I headed to work.

The tile guy came. He was here to put tile down in the kitchen. I forgot to get a tarp to put the fridge on, so the nanny took both kids to the store to get a tarp, bless her soul. I thought at that point that I could relax a little. Have you ever had tile placed? Ha!

So, the nanny called me a couple hours later in a panic. She couldn't get in the house. You see, not only was the kitchen being tiled, but the entryway as well. So, the tile guy came and put down the cement and left. I had to leave work and come home.

The cats had already walked through the cement. It is tracked all over the house. By the time I got home, the nanny had monkey-climbed both kids into the house and she had Isis down for a nap. She was getting the baby in bed. I monkey-climbed onto the kitchen counter to get her some dishes, food, bottles, formula, etc. The fridge is turned toward the kitchen, so you have to hang off it to get anything out of it.

I baby-gated the stairs to keep the pets out and went back to work. I guess after I left, Isis woke up and walked through the cement too before the nanny could get to her. Does anyone know how to get cement out of carpet?

When I got home, the dishes were dirty, the house was a mess, the kids were crazy, and the pets were having panic attacks. One of the cats had made another run at the cement. Yeah!

The phone guy never showed up to fix the phone. I spent the day doing performance evaluations on my staff and making them really unhappy. Bah.

After wrestling the baby and Isis into the tub together and preventing Isis from drowning the baby, I was putting the baby's jammies on when I hear Isis yell, "I need to poop in the potty." I ran into the bathroom and put her on the potty. In comes the baby, dragging his pajama pants off one leg. I got him fixed up and tried to corral him away from the cement all over the floor while Isis proceeded not to poop at all.

The baby cried for half an hour after being in bed for an hour. Isis had a fuss because she chose an episode of Spongebob over a book and then regretted it.

Now, I have to decide whether to do the dishes in the bathroom sink or give up for the night and hope I can walk on the floor enough in the morning to do some dishes before the nanny comes.

On top of it all, I was planning on wearing a skirt tomorrow, so I don't have a single pair of pants ironed, but after today, I have so many bruises on my legs, I look like a victim of something horrible. A skirt is definitely out.

Of all the strange things, the nanny kept telling me how she was amazed I wasn't upset by all this and that I was treating it with humor. Seriously? I thought I was falling apart. I just told her, "you know, with my life lately, this barely even counts as a bad day."

On a certain level, its true. I am exhausted, headachey, frankly, achey everywhere, really hungry (I can't figure out how to get myself something to eat), and will be up kinda late, but this isn't really all that bad. I guess after the baby's health issues (thank God they're better), finding out about the affair, hearing my beloved husband tell me he doesn't care enough to try, and adapting to single-mom status, this day is just kinda funny.