Not hippie enough

I’m the odd-man-out. I’m not conservative enough for the traditional moms. I’m not hippie enough for the babywearers.

I should be hippie enough. I had my babies at home. I’m breastfeeding. But, I’m not. Wear my baby everywhere? That just makes my back hurt. A woman last night was telling me about wearing her baby at work. Even if they would let me wear my baby at work, I work at a hospital. Can you say, “infection”? Imagine me leaning over a patient with a baby strapped to my chest. Plus, I don’t know what kind of babies she had, but my baby gets bored. And he cries. I suspect this would distract from my ability to do my job.

The solution to everything for these people is the boob. Baby tired? Give him the boob. Worried your baby may get sick from a family member at the holidays? Keep them away with your boob hanging out. Baby crying? Give him the boob.

True, leaving my boob hanging out would probably keep my relatives away from me and the baby, but I actually like my relatives. I want them close to me and the baby. Plus, I’m not really the porn star type. Having my breast hanging out all the time makes me uncomfortable.

Give the baby the breast whenever he is unhappy just makes for beat-up nipples. I love my kid. I actually enjoy breastfeeding. But, I do not like pain. I’m the only one at the Le Leche League meeting with a binky. But, my kid likes the pacifier just fine, thank you. See – not hippie enough.

But, I’m also not conservative enough. I’m just not ready to give my baby Benadryl for sleep when he is 3 months old. And you say my remedies are wacky? I’m not ready to feed him food yet. I really like him to get breast milk rather than formula.

I fall somewhere in the middle, but why is that middle-ground so unpopulated? Why am I made to feel like the odd-man-out? Surely there are other people occupying a reasonable space too?