I have no idea what I'm doing

So, I am now a nurse manager. I have been for a few months, but it is still somewhat surprising to me. I am really loving it. But, frankly, I have no idea what I'm doing.

Okay, I admit that I have developed an unhealthy love of financial statements. I also have developed a strange knack for getting what my clinic needs through odd channels. But, I have the worst case of imposter syndrome and I keep wondering when my staff or my bosses are going to look at me and say, "what do you think you're doing? You don't belong here."

I now have a patient who has an implanted port and he wants our clinic to start flushing it. My thought, "fine. I have done that enough times."

Ah. Right. The catch is that our clinic doesn't just have the stuff to do that. It is not someone else's responsibility to make sure that the needed supplies are there. It is mine. Okay, I tell the lady who orders for us, "we need some huber needles."

She brings me about 50 options of huber needles and asks me which to order. I have never had a choice before. Every place I have worked just had one type of huber needle available and we would go get that. Hm...

So, I called up a nurse at the cancer center and asked if I could come over and see what she was using. She clearly thought I was an idiot because she went over the whole procedure for me. Not that I couldn't use the review. But, at the end, I said, "can I just have the packaging for the supplies you use?" and she gave me that look you give small children who say something really odd, but cute and sent me on my way with empty packages.

Just one more example of how I just do this job my own way. Luckily, my way is working out really well.