This blog stuff is funny business. I just discovered that if you put "stupid reasons to get arrested" into a Google search, Lousymom.com comes up third on the list because of the "Stupid reasons for coming to the ER via ambulance" post.

Er...don't ask why I was Googling "stupid reasons to get arrested."

Earlier, my husband and I were discussing the Caramel Corn Incident.

The Caramel Corn Incident went like this: A few days ago I decided to make caramel corn. I was really craving caramel corn, so I got the recipe from my mom. She always made the best caramel corn. I figured it couldn't be that hard. So, I made it. I failed.

It was truly awful. Hard, with a strange aftertaste. Plus, I gave myself a nasty burn on my finger in the process. The horribleness of it didn't stop me from eating half of it, but hey, I'm pregnant, right? I threw the rest away.

Later that night, I was at work and got this text message from my husband: "I tried some of the caramel corn out of the trash. It wasn't very good. I think you need a new recipe."

Yep. He tried it out of the trash. When I asked him why he is eating food out of the garbage, he said, "I wanted to try some." Ew.

At one point in the discussion, Isis, clearly repeating something I said piped in with, "that's nasty." We both looked at her and at that moment, she was looking at us absolutely covered in what had been homemade ice cream, but was now just cream. It was amazingly appropriate and really funny.

I have got to quit trying to make food.

We had a midwife appointment today. She listened to his heartbeat and measured me, weighed me, checked my blood pressure, etc. Then, she told me it was going well.

I actually knew that. This kid moves a LOT. My daughter got into postition early and just kicked my rib over and over and over. This kid is going for some sort of acrobatic swimming medal.

At least this time he was head down. I keep worrying that he is going to move so much he will get confused and try to come out butt first. So far he hasn't even been interested in heading for my pelvis. He's happy in there. At 30 weeks, I'm okay with that, but it would be nice to see an indicator that he knows which way is out.

Mostly, I think he is just growing and growing and that terrifies me. One of my coworkers and I were joking that I should take up smoking to get his growth under control. I know it is best for him to keep growing, but I think about that labor and ....oooh no.

Either way, it is nice to be on a second pregnancy. The entire first pregnancy, I was a mess. I worried about everything. Every moment without movement was scary. Every little change was a panic moment. With this pregnancy, I am pretty calm. He's doing fine. I don't have any grainy black and white photos that make him look like an alien to prove it, but he moves like a happy kid. He is growing like a happy kid. My uterus is doing some practice contractions, but they don't hurt and I'm okay with that.

It is just nice to have one thing I don't really feel like I am worrying about...yet.

I have been toying with the idea of getting a boob job after we're done having kids for a while. Well, really since I realized that after breastfeeding, they measure bra size in length rather than circumference.

So, the other day I had what seemed like a good idea. You know, when you're pregnant, your breasts get all perky and they look great. Then, breastfeeding makes them pretty much too big. Then, after breastfeeding, they get that happy, National Geographic look to them. So, I thought, I should take a picture of my boobs now. Then, if I decide to have them lifted later, I can just tell the doc, "make them look like this again, without the huge pregnancy nipples." If I don't get the surgery, what do I lose?

But, I haven't done it. I have one big sticking point. Where do I store a picture of my breasts?

My computer is pretty much public domain. My father checks his stocks on it when he is visiting. The babysitter plays on it when our daughter is in bed. Our friends play with photoshop or look up directions when they are visiting. I don't want any of those people seeing the picture.

Also, despite the counseling, my husband still occasionally believes that when sending photos to friends and family, it is just easier to load every picture on the computer onto the internet rather than be selective. This is a problem.

For similar reasons, I don't want to print the picture. What if I lose it? Or what if our daughter finds it and starts waving it around for guests?

How long do I really think a sealed envelope marked "top secret - boob photos" would stay sealed? And if I get too creative - lets say I mark the envelope "shampoo coupons" - then if I get the surgery in a few years, I will have long since forgotten the code.

I'm not really seeing an answer. I'm too freaked to take a picture of my boobs and store it. I don't imagine that if I decide to get the surgery, anyone else will let me take a picture of their boobs either. Plus, I can just see me trying to decide who to ask.

So, I guess I'll be stuck looking at pictures of other people's boob jobs in the doctor's office. I find this a little disconcerting. Like picking options from a dim sum menu. Maybe I just won't get the surgery after all. I have a suspicion that if I do, my boobs will be in that book for others to look at forever.